I remember the day that my dad left. I remember sitting in his lap as he tearfully confessed the words that would be my first-ever heartbreak. I remember thinking that divorce was a thing that happened to other kids–not me. I remember the way he looked as he walked out of my home forever. I remember sleepless nights with me, my sister, and my mom huddled closely together in the same bed the first week of his absence. I remember losing a unique brand of childhood innocence that day.

How do I honor this person?

When I look at the Fifth Commandment, “Honor thy Father and Mother,” these are the flashbacks that run through my head, but interwoven through the grief are threads of grace and redemption.

I remember the day my dad started picking up the pieces. I remember how he looked into my eyes and apologized. I remember the way he took responsibility for his actions. I remember the days we blasted music together. I remember how he taught me how to drive down the dirt path to my grandparents’ house. I remember how we both threw our heads back in laughter the same way when we’d watch 80s comedy films together. I remember that through it all, he is my dad.

How do I honor this person?

I honor my dad by letting God heal the broken bits and transform them into something better than I could have imagined. I have my father’s eyes, his smile, and his mannerisms, but there are other things I received from him that are immeasurable. I received compassion, patience, forgiveness, and mercy. I honor my dad because when I look at him, I see God’s grace at work.