Before I joined St. Luke’s and met my wonderful husband Bruce (now married 30 years!), I faced the “conscious uncoupling” of my first marriage, to a lawyer,“H”, in another town. At the time, I was “stay at home” and my precious children were 3 and 5. My fairy-tale life was planned far into the future, but it was not to be.
No substantial negotiations took place before the divorce trial, but I was stunned to hear for the first time—during opening arguments—that H was contesting the custody of our children. My immediate instinct was to give up everything in order to keep the kids, but I first sought guidance from a friend/pastor. My wise friend told me to follow God’s direction. It was better to risk losing my children than bow to pressure that did not align with God. This was a frightening course of action.
I was knocked to my knees and spent a lot of time in earnest prayer—not my normal prayer life. I was utterly at the mercy of the judge and jury, and totally dependent on God. The trial lasted a month. Many of my friends and former family members were called to testify as to my parenting skills; notably, I allowed my son to wear “floppy shoes”, hand-me-downs from his cousin. But, I was strangely energized. I knew that God had me in His hands, despite the outcome. As in Psalm 1, I did not wither though I confess to shaking like a leaf as the verdict was read.
God is good. All the time.